So much about the world that we see around us has evolved through time. Some exciting milestones include the expanded definition of beauty in the beauty industry, technology’s influence on how we live our day to day lives and the increased rights of some minority groups around the world. Stereotypical gender roles of the past have largely remained unchanged, however, the changing world has challenged gender roles. With women entering the job market, society has had to grapple with and reimagine the role of women today as well as has had to consider how to embrace and support them. It is now more acceptable for women to take up spaces and functions previously reserved for men, yet, women can still choose the role of a stereotypical woman that stays home and cares for the home and kids. The definition of what it means to be a woman in the world has expanded. While women still face severe prejudices and challenges in the world, in urban societies at least, women can choose how they want to express themselves in the world. Men have not undergone a renaissance in the way women have - until now. Now, more than ever, we are seeing the lines of masculinity blur.
LIMANI PURPOSE
A LOVE LETTER TO THE BLACK MAN
Men, especially black men, are at a crossroads and are in a lot of pain. Research shows that suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death for black or african american men aged 15-24 . In 2018, the suicide rate for black or african american men was 4 times higher than for african american women. South Africa is ranked number 10 on the list of countries with the most suicides, with men leading the numbers . The World Health Organisation reported that 13 774 suicides occurred in 2019 in South Africa of which 10 861 were among men. Without comparing the hardships faced by women, there is no question that black men are being faced with a unique set of challenges in today’s world. Men are left feeling like society doesn’t value their lives and in addition, there are no safe spaces for them to express their challenges, thoughts and feelings.
Despite the reality that black men are experiencing an identity crisis accompanied by deep pain, public discourse has no room for the man’s perspective. Gender relations have become very hostile. Conversations have become sanitized out of fear of presenting a contrarian view and facing the backlash of the opinion police. By shutting down one person’s perspective, no matter how uncomfortable it makes us, we simultaneously shut down an opportunity for open and meaningful communication, which prevents us from increasing our understanding, tolerance, compassion and ultimately, healing.
Take the pandemic of gender based violence (GBV) in South Africa, with one of the highest GBV rates in the world. According to UN Women, one in five women in relationships have been physically abused by a partner in South Africa. Very rarely does the public conversation.
- https://www.nami.org/african-american/black-men-and-mental-health-practical-solutions/
- https://www.nelsonmandela.org/news/entry/coalition-effort-to-respond-to-the-high-levels-of-suicide-among-men#:~:text=According%20to%20a%20report%20by,and%20men%20leading%20the%20numbers.
- https://www.unwomen.org/en/news-stories/feature-story/2023/12/
south-african-womens-group-trains-police-to-respond-to-gender-based-violence#:~:text=The%20rate%20of%20violence%20against,
men%20they%20know%20and%20strangers.
surrounding GBV delve deeper into the state of our society - how (as a whole society) we are raising our boys, what conversations are we having with our boys about what it means to be a man, what are we teaching our girls about what it means to be a partner to a man, why do men feel the need to control women (and visa versa), why do men resort to violence to address their challenges with another, what role does substance abuse play in GBV etc. Some incidences of GBV (together with many other gender related conversations) can be nuanced. Even in incidents where there is no nuance, it’s difficult to imagine how we can make progress when we don’t allow these conversations to occur. A happy, confident, abundant man is less likely to cause harm to another, let alone a woman. Should we disregard and abandon black men or is the better solution to support black men into becoming the best version of themselves?
We need men as much as we need women in order for our society to flourish. We will go much further as black people if we make the decision to support and love on one another. The purpose of Limani is to pour into black men, to provide them with a space that makes them feel seen and heard. Our focus is on caring for black men, from the inside out. We want black men to know that we love them, that we are here for them, that we believe in them, that we appreciate them and that we need them.